Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
