Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
