So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize