your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
