for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
