im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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