I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
