I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I need to sanitize my soul.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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