this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
and you fell through a lawn chair
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
