We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
