We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
