you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
