Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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