She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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