in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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