Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
