No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's blow job season.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
