we're blogging at a bar
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
