did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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