THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
