i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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