I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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