I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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