oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
