i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
