i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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