I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
