He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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