Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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