I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
