Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
