Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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