God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
