Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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