I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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