you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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