Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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