im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You smell like a Billy Joel song
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
