You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
