he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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