some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
