okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
