I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
