Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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