You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
