i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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