Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize