The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
