suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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