My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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