So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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