if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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