I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize