You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
