Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize