It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
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I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
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It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize