Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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