ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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