Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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