How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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