so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
