i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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