literally had 100 drinks last night.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
