Three words: puerto rican gang bang
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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