apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
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I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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