Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
