Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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